Friendship Breakups



*Mainly just a long rambling post*

A  lot of people (mainly girls) will say that a friendship breakup can be worse than a relationship ending - and it is true, girls can especially be so horrible that a fall out over something mundane can turn into WWIII. I will put my hands up right now and say that I, Eilidh, am a serial indirect tweeter. I love them. I love making the cryptic messages, and more than half the time end up making them so obvious I might as well tag the person in them. Yet as I get older and oh so wiser, I've realised that sometimes, whilst they are shit, friendships can and will end naturally on their own. The jump between high school and university can put strain on any friendship, you go from seeing your friends everyday at lunch, to having to organise nights out and dinners in advance.



This past year I've started to really see the friends that have made the effort and those who haven't. With about 90% of students working as well as studying, there has been occasions where (myself included) hasn't been able to attend organised occasions by our friends, and yet I found myself asking to meet up with people multiple times only to be brushed off with the old work excuse. It gets to a point where you have to ask if it is worth it, if it is worth constantly being put to the bottom on a persons list of priorities.



I dont react well to change, especially if I myself have not initiated it, however I react even worse to being ignored and feeling neglected. During the peak time of puberty I witnessed several friendships end, sometimes they were my fault, and sometimes I did nothing to help solve the issues and instead decided to shit stir (not even going to deny it). It was these friendships that helped me to learn how to navigate my friendships in the near future and whilst I still muck up, I am able to remember that twitter fight I had in 2013 and be like 'Actually maybe I shouldn't tweet that'. Almost 4 years on, I am starting to reconnect with old school friends, and I love seeing how we have grown up and what they have accomplished in the years we have been absent from each others lives. I spent the past couple of months of 2016 feeling like shit. I was spending time I didn't have attempting to stay in contact with friends who had made it obvious they wanted nothing to do with anybody from school, I was left humiliated after being turned away and then seeing posts on social media of them with other friends - and in turn missed opportunities where I could have been seeing real friends who actually make the effort that everybody deserves in a friendship. Even if we are only able to see each other mainly for birthdays, Christmas' and whatever dates we can fit in-between, its my oldest friend Lindsay that I know I can contact about anything and she would make the effort to see me - even for a brief couple of hours. It is that kind of friendship that I crave as I move on and start to tackle different aspects of my life, not the part time friends who can easily lie to your face.

For some reason, almost every photo I took in 2012-2014 is in a black and white filter

At school whenever there was an argument, everybody found out by lunchtime and offences and defences decided by home time, nowadays there is a strange element of 'is this it?'. No large blow up, minimal indirect tweets and the acceptance that you probably won't speak to them ever again. At the end of the day, it is the people who make the effort, who will show up and not use the same excuse over and over again, who will have friends they can turn to when they have a problem. I know I am incredibly lucky to have some of the friends that I do, and I can't wait to experience our upcoming milestones alongside them.





3 comments

  1. Replies
    1. you are the only reason I have lasted this long in uni XXX

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  2. This is so true! The friendships I have now, especially the ones I've maintained through uni & distance are so much stronger because we're on the same level�� Glad you have great friends!xx

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